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Friday, July 30, 2010
8:50 AM
 can i express my feelings again in my blog? can i ? ): i cant take this pain any longer. i wan to let it out. silence doesnt solve anything .. i don't knw if you still read my blog. i don't know if you still miss me like hw i miss you badly. i don't know wt is in ur mind and ur plan. i don't know why u stopped texting me. i just dont know. Md hizam, remember that day you ask me wt am i doing? .. its done now. here you go.. i knw its long. bt my pain is more than that.. You were there by my side when I'm on the urge of break down the other time. You said "don't worry, i'm here for you." I trusted you. I took your words. And you did, you were there back then. Eversince then, I've started to develop feelings for you. I wasn't sure what kind of feeling is it. But the feelings always gave me butterflies in my stomach, And whenever I talk to you, my heart skipped a beat. As days goes by our friendship became closer and closer. I find you amazing. Your touch have chased away all of my fears. Your warm hug, the only one that can put me to sleep and Give me warmth when im shivering. Your presence, never i've felt so lonely. The goodbye kisses on my forehead, to tell me that you are the one for me. I'm always happy when you're around It doesn't matter what we do As long as I'm with you... Then, I came to realize that i'm falling for you. By then I knew that I have feelings for you. With you I don't feel pain. Your the one that makes me laugh instead of cry You hold me close so I can see How much you want to be with me Like I said previously, Suddenly it went so quickly, I didnt have the time to take a deep breath. You hurt me. I'm in pain. The pain starts growing, it's something that I can't ignore. Don't tell me to stop crying.. I cry Because you're not here to stop the starting tear. And sometimes... I cry Because my life is incomplete without you, It went dull and silent And sometimes ... I cry Because I missing you. You left me to face every single fear I never thought you would leave me this way The only sentence that comes in my mind is how could you. You leaving me is something I thought you would never do I expect other people to leave me..but never you... Didn't expect this is how things would go. Now looking back how I wish I could rewind. I rather feel the pain of missing you. Than this pain baby. Do you wanna know how does the pain feel that I go through everyday? Wake up in the morning. And act that everything is okay for a moment, Then i realize, there will be no Good morning kiss, no morning Greeting at all from you, my love. So I cry myself out of bed, and Slowly wipe away my tears While getting ready for the day. As the day progresses, I am distracted by the classes, By the people I see and places I have to go. So to everyone out there, they don't even Know that I had a rough morning. The day goes by like normal. Only thing that is really different is The lack of you in it. And when I lay down at night, ready for sleep. I realized again, there will be no GOod night kiss, no good night greetings. I feel that lack the most, and it pulls At my heart, keeping me awake till I cant possibly stay awake any longer. Falling asleep on my freshly tear Stained pillow. Just to wake up the next morning, and do it all again. Over and over and over. My life seems to be on repeat, Unable to move forward without you. To the one I love, the one I adore, the one I cherish and care for, I want nothing more than to be with u right now..   |
